don’t talk, watch.

I saw Aqua Teen Hunger Force (colon) Movie Film for Theaters this past Thursday. It’s only April, but I can say without hesitation that this movie has the most badass movie poster of the year:

In addition to having the most badass movie poster of the year, this film also features the greatest opening three minutes (with the most amazing cameo by the band Mastodon), the most villainous watermelon, the gayest exercise song, the horniest cyborg, the coolest album artwork (and title — “Nude Love” by Master Shake), the sickest drum solo by Neal Peart, the most incomprehensible plot, the goriest animated flaying of a living person, the best Bruce Campbell-as-a-chicken cameo, the slowest tractor beam, the hippest time traveling Abe Lincoln, and the most senseless killings of the cutest kittens of any movie this year. It also features Carl Brutananadilewski, which is so much more than most movies can lay claim to.

Of course, when you get past all the chaos and self-references, you realize it’s just an 86 minute-long episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It even has the same opening titles song, albeit remixed and with different images than the series. But really, were you expecting 3D motion-captured animation? Nope, it’s still the same old show, with not a single effort to explain anything to anyone who might not know what they’re getting themselves into. I liked how they still had the “bleep” sound every time someone cursed, even though you could still hear the curse over the bleep. I think this quote from Mastodon’s intro sums up the movie nicely:

do not explain the plot
if you don’t understand, then you should not be here
your money is our money
and we will spend it on drugs

Really, it’s pointless trying to talk about this movie. Either you’re weird and like watching this show when you’re drunk like me, or you think the best thing about Aqua Teen was the Boston bomb scare. If you don’t mind being spoiled a bit, here’s a video of the intro that I love so much (Joan and I have been singing/grunting this song all day):

Poor quality, but it’ll have to do until the DVD comes out. Or until someone bootlegs it on something other than a cell phone camera. If you can’t view the embedded flash here, you can still see the movie on YouTube.

This has all been an excellent distraction from the general horribleness that has occurred in the world this past week.

-D